Helping survivors of sexual harm share their views with fellow victims
Community Justice Scotland’s Learning, Development and Innovation Lead Gael Cochrane talks about her work helping to create an international resource for survivors of sexual harm around experiences of restorative justice (RJ).
“Other people are making these decisions. They are not qualified, no-one is qualified to tell me what I need, only me. I know what I need and if it upsets me, it upsets me, but give me that choice. What he did to me, I had no choice and I lost everything…..I lost my dignity, I lost my self-respect, and I lost any self-esteem I ever had and that was through the actions of just one person removing my choice.”
This is a quote from one of the UK participants interviewed for a new international resource booklet called ‘From Survivor to Survivor: Conversations about Restorative Justice and Sexual Violence’. I’m a member of the working group on gender-based violence of the European Forum for Restorative Justice (EFRJ) who produced the booklet and this quote sums up why we wanted to develop this project.
When discussing gaps there might be in existing literature on RJ we identified that the voices of victims/survivors who have participated in RJ for sexual harm cases were missing from the discussion. We wanted to give a voice to survivors who wished to share their experience of a restorative process in such cases with other survivors – as well as with professionals in the field.
This is important because it represents the views of some victims/survivors in their own words. No-one is speaking for them or at them, and it gives them the opportunity to let other people with similar experiences hear about RJ without judgement. It also allows those working in restorative justice and/or across the gender-based violence sector to hear victim/survivor perspectives which could assist with their work.
We spoke to eight victims/survivors from five different countries with differing experiences of sexual harm about their individual experiences of restorative justice. We felt it was important for the women to share their views, although we appreciate they do not represent all survivors of sexual harm and each experience is unique to the individual.
It should first always be the choice of individual victims/survivors whether they want to explore restorative justice, and how they may wish to safely do that.
I spoke with three contributors and recorded and transcribed all my interviews. Edited testimonies were sent to the contributors for final approval.
It was a great privilege to hear the testimonies directly from the contributors, something that will stay with me forever. Key themes that emerged from our conversations were that victims/survivors felt believed when talking about their experiences, which for some was in direct contrast with their experience of the criminal justice system.
Other key themes that emerged from the conversations were that the persons harmed were happy with the process. There was a belief from the contributors that this process is needs-led, that they have choice and control, and that restorative justice is about the process, not the outcome.
“It took time, you know the process – it takes time before you have a first meeting. I’m still very moved because it’s extraordinary,” said one contributor from France.
For many, the restorative justice experience was empowering. Our contributors articulated that they felt in control and had choice throughout the process. The process really embodied the trauma-informed approach. It came across that restorative justice can be transformative for some.
“I think the magic of restorative justice for me is that it transformed my memory. I used to get triggered by news articles, things on the news, people talking about rape. It was so disempowering. After the meeting, the whole restorative justice process, I might still think about it, that thought ‘that happened to me,’ but I remember the meeting and I feel empowered. It transformed the whole experience from something that was negative to something that was instantly positive,” said another participant from Ireland.
“I am definitely a totally different person than I was before the restorative justice experience. Once the weight had been lifted from me, it helped so many more around me. Once that darkness had gone from me, it was and still is a far brighter day for us all. I definitely felt empowered, and it made me feel a lot more resolve. My inner child was laid to rest,” said a contributor from the UK.
The themes of forgiveness and apologies are often raised when people discuss restorative justice, and critics often think that these are necessary for restorative justice to take place. They are not, and are very much dependent on what the person harmed wants from the process.
We cannot give a mandate for forgiveness and an apology. Some of the conversations for the resource highlighted how different some of the peoples’ perspectives were on these themes. One of our participants from the UK who was assaulted by a stranger had one perspective.
“I felt like I was a huge fraud because I don’t want to forgive him, I can’t. I don’t want his apology. I eventually said to my facilitator that I don’t want him to say sorry…,” she explained.
We can contrast this with another contributor from the UK who had a personal relationship with the person responsible for harming her.
“The fact that he admitted it and apologised were the two things that I needed to have closure, because I’d never heard an apology. He told everybody that I’d been lying for years. So, admitting it, and then apologising was an immense help to me. I always knew the truth, and now it was out in the open and without a doubt apologies and closure,” she said.
There was recognition from our contributors that restorative justice is not the panacea, but it may help with a healing process.
I believe that for some of our contributors the experience of involvement in this project allowed them to organise their thoughts and feelings about going through a restorative justice process. Some of our contributors are experienced speakers; others have made documentary films about their restorative justice experience, but others had never had the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. As I was coming to the end of an interview with one contributor from the UK, she told me: “Being involved in restorative justice changed my life, it has done wonders for me.” Until that point she had been very matter-of-fact about the process and what was involved. This is why it is important that we listen to all voices and listen properly, leaving space for those who would not normally be heard.